I day dream. A LOT. Like, probably way more than what is considered healthy, but I love it. I love being able to escape reality, even just for a moment, and pretend that your something your not, or to see yourself 10 years down the road and living the perfect life. I absolutely love the thought of being able to flee life just so I can imagine I'm somewhere else. Anywhere I am at, I tend to check out. Work, home, meetings, doctor's office, standing in line, ANYWHERE. I dream about various things. What my life would be as a rock star. Pretending I'm the main character in my favorite show, living their crazy life. traveling the world. Living in France and having a summer home in Sweden... You know, the usual shit you DREAM about. But I also dream imagine about my life in the future and my family's life. I dream about us moving out of state and getting out of this hell hole (literally, it's a hell hole), and us owning a beautiful house that you see in Home and Garden magazine, doing well financially, for once, and not having to struggle, having my career, basically everything that would amount to what I consider to be a "perfect life."
I am tired of watching everyone around me (even people younger than me at this point!) graduating college, running their own businesses, traveling to foreign countries, buying new cars, getting out of Arizona, well... you get the point. While all of this is going on around me, I am stuck at a stand still. And as watch all this happen, I cannot help but feel an immense amount of jealously. It's not their fault. It's mine. And while I cannot control what others do, I can control what I do. So i think that if I write my goals and "dreams" (I use quotations because I believe dreams are exactly what they are, dreams, things you cannot obtain but only dream about. These are not dreams yet very achievable aspirations) to remind me, in black and white, of what I want with my life. And hopefully my friends will do the same and remind me of what I am working for, for both me and my family.
So here they are:
I am going back to school, finally. This will be difficult at first as I have not been to school in 5 years, but I know I can persevere through it for the end result which will be so much rewarding. I going to get my degree in Anthropology so I can finally be able to work my "dream" career in a museum. To be surrounded by history and all the artifacts that represent that is so gratifying to me. I absolutely LOVE history and as grateful as I am to have the job I have today, I dread going to work everyday. I want to look forward to going to work not despising it. I fully intend to move out of state once I have my degree. I will apply for jobs in other states. No negotiating on this. I need a change of scenery. STAT. Once I move, I want to buy a house. A home that I actually own and can call my own, not my landlord's. Well, that's all I have for the moment. Some of these are vague, and some are specific and I know once I can start crossing my accomplishments off my list, I can solidify those more vague goals better, but until then I think this is a good enough start. I will be making updates as I accomplish these goals so expect to see future posts referring back to this post in the future. Until then, stay tuned....
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